When you’re a parent, your first responsibility is to take care of your kids, right? That’s an easy call. Here’s the harder question: what are you doing to take care of their grandparents?
It’s a difficult conversation, but one you and your partner need to have at some point – and the earlier the better. Even if your parents or your spouse’s parents are currently hale and hearty, they’re likely going to need your help and your care taking down the road. Taking a few care taking steps in advance helps ensure your kids’ grandparents stay healthy and independent for as long as possible, and helps prepare all of you for the upcoming shift in responsibility.
Driving
It’s easy to worry about senior drivers, so take preemptive steps by directing the grandparents towards the senior driving resources at AAA. These resources include online road safety tests, information about how medications affect driving skills and recommendations on the best cars for senior drivers. AAA even offers a Senior Driving Expo, in which the grandparents can learn more about senior driving hazards and explore car “mobility enhancements” to keep them on the road and independent.
Healthcare
Make sure the grandparents are all set up for Medicare, the guaranteed-access health insurance system for people aged 65 and older. But be forewarned: Medicare is a bureaucracy, so expect numerous and lengthy telephone calls and documentation both during the initial setup phase as well as any time there is a serious illness or accident.
Consider setting your folks up with medical alert systems to alert both you and local emergency response teams in cases of a fall, heart attack or other dangerous health situations. These alert systems allow the grandparents to continue living independently without worry that they’ll be trapped and alone after a health crisis.
The systems also monitor homes for fire and other dangers, and provide basic services like key assistance if the grandparents accidentally lock themselves out of their house. A medical alert system is a great way for grandparents to take care of their health without worrying about becoming dependent on you and your family.
Housing
The best rule of thumb is to keep the grandparents in their own home for as long as possible. Moving is disruptive, expensive and sometimes traumatic; and asking your folks to leave the home in which they may have lived for decades is best reserved for times of absolute necessity.
Instead of moving the grandparents to your own home or to an assisted living facility, consider the following:
- Minor renovations, such as ramps, bathroom handlebars and hallway railings
- Weekly housekeeping services to handle the sweeping, vacuuming and scrubbing
- Health care aides to provide assistance while still allowing independence
There are many ways to keep grandparents in their own home while still providing services to meet their needs. Talk to your folks about what they need to make their lives easier, and remember that a bathroom renovation or a monthly housekeeping service is much, much less expensive than moving.
Long-term care insurance
Even with all of these initial care taking steps in place, assume that at some point both sets of grandparents will need long-term care. Don’t drain your family’s finances paying monthly nursing home fees. Instead, make sure the grandparents have long-term care insurance to protect all of you and to ensure they are well taken care of.
The most important thing to do during this entire process is to communicate: talk to your parents about what they need, and tell your parents what you and your family need. Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page re: what resources you can devote to the grandparents and what resources you need to maintain for yourselves and your children. The best way to take care of yourself, your kids and their grandparents is to open up the conversation and work together to solve the problems.
What are you doing right now to take care of the grandparents? Do you expect to have to do more in upcoming years? What are you worried about, and what steps have you taken to address those worries? Let us know in the comments.
Very nice article about grandparental care! It is very necessary that proper care be given to them as they, in the best of their years have put in a lot of effort to raise us up!